Participants' feedback on the items included in my evaluation form:

• self-love/healthy ego:
  • I have a harsh (internal) task-mistess (she rags on me, not necessarily others)
  • there may be a dark part of me that I'm afraid to share with others
  • here is an openness to loving myself/working for growthful change
• family love (chosen family, family of origin, ancestors
  • very loving bond with sister & nephew
  • perhaps I invest my emotion here instead of in other places
• lover/sexer
  • good in some areas, blocks in others (trust, openness, self-esteem)
  • work for emotional equality between self & lover (easier to love others than self)
  • my attitudes & feelins are in a process of change
  • socialization has inhibited my natural playfulness
  • I might need a lot of appreciation (I may be a "high-maintenance" lover)
  • I don't need to worry about being a lover the way my mother was (message from the angels)
• friends: quality of friendships is important, not quantity
• community: I'm doing a good job of exploring several circles
• emotional well being: it would be nice to see more self-confidence and self-esteem and less stubbornness
• structural health & prosperity: no comments
• creative expression:
  • I have impressive discipline in my creative work (I commit myself, create time for creative work and stick to it)
  • the "I see progress" mark is about the fact that this tends to be a hidden area of my life, one that I don't share readily, openly or publicly (my evaluator's comment was that it has taken getting to know me to be able to see the creativity/creative expression, that the more she gets to know me, the more expressiveness she sees; that her experience of me suggests that there is probably much more that I have not demonstrated yet, but that as our friendship grows she will see more of it)
• psychic development:
  • I really work at this
  • I have come so far in this area (based on where I started) and am making good progress
• intellectual productivity:
  • I think well
  • my thinking covers a broad range of areas
• spiritual leadership:
  • praised for grouping creative expression, psychic development, intellectual productivity and spiitual leadership together in my evaluation tool (there was a remark about how they are linked and I said that I had consciously ordered the items in my evaluation too)
  • my commitment to spiitual leadership is great
  • I'm insecure and judgmental and these are blocks (coming from life history/personality) that get in the way of my potential
  • I am self-judgmental (I seem to be frequently, and unconsciously, apologizing about/for myself)
  • I need to think about what is my vision of spiritual leadership, because I am drawn in two directions:
  • **Jade's direction -- placid, laid back, politically cautious/indirect
  • **Sage's direction -- lively, committed, willingness to say both yes and no publicly
  • think about what I'm going to "lead" and how I'm going to lead -- specifically, what are power and participation in the context of a leader
• work of the world
  • if I want a job, I've got it
  • this is not an area for concern in my life
• philanthropic abundance & work
  • discussion of the meaning of philanthropy -- that it is both the traditioal (i.e., Rockefeller) meaning and other meanings (if I have only two quarters and I give one way, this is philanthropgy)
  • I am a very giving person; I walk my talk (in this and other areas)
  • one of the evaluator's defitnios is that philanthropy is when you give a quarter of yourself to (whatever), and by this definition, I excel (she gave me a "good job" mark because she averaged out her definition (by which she evaluated me as "exceptional") and what seh thouht was my definition (by which she evaluated me as making pogress)
• ecological awareness/ecosystems sensitivity
  • the "you're out of the gate" mark was given because this person has little information about this area of my life, other than to know it is an area of concern
  • I am both aware and active in this area

Their turn -- what my evaluators want to say to me that I have not necesasarily included in this evaluation tool:

• I should have included "playmate" in the list of "love relationship
  • as a playmate, I am exceptional
  • playfulness is one of my strongest qualities
  • I bring joy, laughter and play into the lives of others with whom I am associated; my playfulness and enthusiasm are infectious
• I have great sensitivity to people; I am tuned into others
• I walk my talk and others notice; this is a powerful wy to demonstrate leadership
• I am too hard on myself
• It is clear that I put a lot of work into this evaluation exercise, and specifically into the format

Requested Feedback on 2 areas of concern I discussed with the group:

• How do I develop intimate friendships
  • developing intimacy means taking risks, sharing parts of myself -- ideas, feelings, hopes & fears, life experience -- that are risky)
  • honesty is at the foundation of intimate relationships, and my Sagittarian (inexorable) honesty is a given, a gift for developing intimacy
  • I have intimacy skills, I am probably not familiar with them
  • I must accept that develping intimacy means trusting and being open, and that the more committed/trusting Iam with others, the more likelihood there is for both intimacy and hurt/betrayal of trust/abandonment -- it comes with the territory
  • I need to look at the bottom lines, at what keeps me from reaching out
• How do I deal with my need to express myself, to be who I am, and my desire to belong, to deal with others who say (not directly, usually) that I am too powerful, too playful, too dominating, too self-loving, too intelligent, etc.?
  • The discussion helped me see that I tend to cast this struggle in terms of "the message is that I should not be myself, I am too (whatever') but that what is going on is that I am instead very sensitive to/tuned into other people and that "struggle" arises from the fact of both a self-awareness and an other-awareness; in other words, I pick up on what others think/feel about me and I take this into account
  • for example, yes, I am sometimes stubborn, dominant, etc. (although probably not moreso than all of us are periodically), but I am willing to look at myself, to examine, larn, grow and change -- or not)