I woke before dawn this morning and meditated before getting up, as usual. I tried to convince myself to leave the comfort of bed, to meditate on the porch, or down by the lake, but the flesh was unusually unwilling.
Probable cause: today is the 15th anniversary of my mom's death. At the end of my meditation, I sent her brilliant white light and with it these messages:
I love you. You are a worthy manifestation of the divine. What didn't work between us is in the past: forgive yourself, forgive me. As you gave me life, so I send you this light. May you find your way to source. May you find your way to happy and fulfilling incarnations. May you find your way to love. A pagan, new-age, catholic prayer for the dead.
I sat down here to write about her, but find I don't have the heart for it today. I'm holding in my mind's eye the huge double rainbow that spanned the city of Houston on this day, 15 years ago, when I drove in from Austin, summoned by sister. When I saw the rainbow, I knew Mom had passed, and in its beauty, clarity, size and duration I saw an expression of my mother's essential nature, liberated from the social restrictions, neurochemical imbalances, and personal disappointments that constantly did battle with her desire to shine.
Haloscan:
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Blogger:
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This is lovely. Take some time today to give back to yourself.